Welcome back to Invoices, a GOOD MOVIE bonus column. The way it works is simple:

On the first weekday of each month, I list out all the new releases I watched during the month prior, along with how much I paid to watch them. There’s a quick review of each movie (a paragraph, at most), and then that review ends with an invoice saying whether or not anyone from the film owes me any money.

If a movie is good, then nobody from it will owe me any money. If it’s bad, then somebody (or multiple somebodies) will. April’s batch includes The Drama, Michael, How to Make a Killing, The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, and more. Let’s see who owes me some money…

The Drama

I paid $34.54 to watch this at the theater. (It was me and Larami.) And I fucking loved it. It’s my favorite movie I saw this month, and one of my favorite movies I’ve seen this year. It’s really well shot, incredibly acted, wonderfully written, and just exactly the sort of thing I’m looking for when I wander into a theater. (Movie stars being movie stars!) I’m excited to buy this on blu-ray when it comes out.

Invoice: Nobody owes me any money here, obviously.

P.S. An underdiscussed aspect of this movie that I greatly enjoyed: Real teeth! I’m so happy that real teeth are making a comeback!

P.P.S. The non-Zendaya, non-Pattinson actors in this movie are phenomenal. Alana Haim (fuck yes)! Mamoudo Athie (fuck yes)! Hailey Gates (fuck yes)! Zoë Winters (fuck yes)! Turns out, if you just gather together half a dozen or so extremely cool people and point a camera at them, fun stuff happens. What a concept!

The Super Mario Bros. Galaxy Movie

I paid $112.80 to watch this at the theater. (It was me, my wife, The Baby, and two of my nieces.) I’d have felt better if I’d paid $112.80 to have someone throw a rock at me as hard as they could. The best description I saw of The Super Mario Bros. Galaxy Movie was that it’s basically just someone jangling a pair of car keys in your face for 99 minutes. I had no fun in it at all. I just wanted it to be over. All the stuff that The Super Mario Bros. Movie did in 2023 that was cool and enjoyable… this movie was like, “Let’s not do any of that shit this time.”

Invoice: Mario and Luigi owe me $112.80. (Yoshi’s safe. He’s kinda cute.)

Michael

Read more

Welcome back to Invoices, a GOOD MOVIE bonus column. The way it works is simple:

On the first day of each month, I list out all the new releases I watched during the month prior, along with how much I paid to watch them. There’s a quick review of each movie (a paragraph, at most), and then that review ends with an invoice saying whether or not anyone from the film owes me any money.

If a movie is good, then nobody from it owes me money. If it’s bad, then somebody (or multiple somebodies) will. March’s batch includes Project Hail Mary, The Housemaid, They Will Kill You, Undertone, and more. Let’s see who owes me some money…

Project Hail Mary

I paid $60.45 to see this at the theater. (It was me, Larami, and The Baby.) I was pretty confident I was gonna like it because I’m a sucker for space movies and also I’m a sucker for Ryan Gosling wearing a slutty little pair of glasses. And I’m happy to tell you:

Read more

This is a new column. It’s called INVOICES. And the way it works is simple:

On the first of each month, I’m going to list out the New Releases I watched during the month prior, along with how much I paid to watch each one. I’ll give a quick review of each movie (a paragraph, at most), and then end the review with an invoice saying whether or not anyone from the movie owes me any money.

If a movie is good, then nobody from it will owe me money. If it’s bad, then somebody (or multiple somebodies) will. February’s batch includes Scream 7, Crime 101, Goat, Send Help, Mercy, and more. Let’s see who owes me some money…

Read more