141 Comments
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Stephen K. Horrocks's avatar

Do we think that Denise was offended by the huge vagina jokes and that's why Hawkins was taken first?

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Shea Serrano's avatar

That's a great call. Definitely what happened.

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Brian's avatar

More words from Hannah please. She’s very funny!

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Shea Serrano's avatar

I thought it was a great contribution. I was very happy when she pitched the idea, lol.

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Brian's avatar

Glad you let it happen, truley

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Matthew Stollak's avatar

No words on the great end credits? Some say it plays like a comedy.

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/KBIzUr9xdgE

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Shea Serrano's avatar

The thing that always stood out to me about it was for basically everybody's shot, you can tell they filmed something specifically for it. With Arnold, though, you can tell his is just some footage they grabbed from something else.

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Liesl's avatar

The cheesy end credits are one of my favorite parts of the movie! I wish Arnold had played along.

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Blair's avatar

Oh hell yeah Arrival next week! I will die on the hill that Amy Adams should be AT LEAST a two-time Oscar winner by now - for Enchanted and Arrival.

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Shea Serrano's avatar

SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET NOMINATED FOR ARRIVAL. IT'S ABSURD.

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Blair's avatar

It's my villain origin story

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Cars and Movies's avatar

If Arnold is actually 5'10 it'd be one of the most disappointing revelations of my life and I'm not exaggerating here.

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Shea Serrano's avatar

Like finding out Santa Claus isn't real. Tough break.

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Trevor Abenavoli's avatar

Shea After Dark to start this weekend

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Shea Serrano's avatar

GOOD MOVIE After Dark month coming soon!

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Trevor Abenavoli's avatar

Can’t wait to read your thoughts on Wild Things!

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Lucas  Golden's avatar

This is the greatest sci-fi/action movie ever made, with one exception. Aliens. Nothing will ever top that. As for Predator, I can remember the first time I ever watched it. My dad and uncle showed me and my brother this, we must have been 7 and 5. We were traumatized at the end. As we got up to leave they said, “now wait a minute, there’s a sequel” and proceeded to make us watch Predator 2. Core memory. Great write up as always Shea!

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Shea Serrano's avatar

I bet if you polled 2000 people on the Predator/Aliens thing the results would come back 1000-1000. Just two perfect movies.

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Lucas  Golden's avatar

Two perfect movies that they combined into….definitely not so perfect movies haha

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Shea Serrano's avatar

For real. What a disaster.

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Mike's avatar

I'll die on the hill that the first AVP movie was decent (although it could've been better).

AVP 2 was the biggest pile of dogshit ever committed to camera.

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Shea Serrano's avatar

You’re gonna die on that hill alone, my friend.

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Luis Martins's avatar

Blain is a line delivering menace in this movie. Besides the three Shea mentions, there’s also this beauty: Come on in, you fuckers. Come on in. Ol' Painless is waitin'.

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Shea Serrano's avatar

He really made the most of his screen time, lol.

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Dan's avatar
3dEdited

I always imagined Dennis as just some guy on safari vacation. Like that dentist that shot the lion.

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Shea Serrano's avatar

That's exactly how I feel. I even made a joke as such in the Action Hero Scouting Report from a few years ago. He's definitely just some regular dude on his planet.

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Masa's avatar

Shea, your idea about your debut fight entrance reminded me of the boxing event I got to go to recently.

One of the fighters came out in a full Toad from Super Mario Bros costume. He had the mushroom hat, vest, and was wearing a medical mask for some reason.

The crowd loved it and were cheering for him pretty loud. Then the fight started and it immediately became clear he wasn’t gonna win.

I wish I was able to post the pictures I took here but it was a fun night.

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Shea Serrano's avatar

Jokes > Being actually good at fighting

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Masa's avatar
3dEdited

God bless you, Hannah.

Put me on that jury so I can make sure Shea goes away for life.

I’m gonna put on my best Adam Silver voice for when I read the verdict.

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Shea Serrano's avatar

FOR LIFE!

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Ryan W.'s avatar

Holy shit what a good fucking movie! I used to watch the edited version on TV with my dad in the 90s. This may be the first movie I really loved because I connect it to my dad and just the badass characters in it.

-What the hell does indefatigable mean? Seems like a weird flex, Shea, to use a word none of us know

-Blaine naming his gun is such a macho thing to do. I tried to name my car a few years back...fell flat because, like Blaine, you need a level of macho to name shit like he did which I do not have

-On Blaine; I swear he says "Sexual Tyrannosaur" not "Sexual Tyrannosaurus". This is an important clarification because calling it a Tyrannosuar, shortening the name, makes it even more cool and fitting to his character

-Henchman heaven has potential for like a comic strip or something. Short story? I don't know but just a recurring bit of movie henchman showing up to heaven and telling what happened when they got killed

-Fucking "STICK AROUND" is so funny every time

-Agree on Billy. He is the probably the most scary of the whole group and his death was taken from us. All we get is the scream as they run away.....

-True story, you can go to the set of predator in Puerto Vallarta, MX. I went some years back, fucking awesome!

What a fucking good movie!

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Shea Serrano's avatar

1. I learned "indefatigable" a few years ago and never forgot it. I've never said it out loud but I will always look for a way to use it in my writing, lol.

2. You gotta tell us what you named your car.

3. Ha. If you listen closely, you can hear him finish the word. But I agree. Reminds me of how Andy Samberg says "stegosaur" in Pop Star.

4. I've been doing the Henchmen Heaven thing in articles for years. It's one of my favorite things to think about.

5. EVERY. TIME.

6. The closest we've ever gotten is in Predators when the one guy decides to have a one-on-one sword fight with a predator.

7. WHAT.

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Andrei Markevich's avatar

I second the Henchmen Heaven idea. Sounds absolutely hilarious

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Buzz's avatar

Commando is the absolute peak of Arnold one-liners. Not that he doesn't have great ones after, but every one he drops is a banger:

- "...if you want your kid back, then you'll need to cooperate, right?"

"Wrong." [shoots guy in head]

- [snaps a man's neck and makes it look like he's sleeping on the plane] "Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired."

- (My personal gold medal, the one-two punch he lands on esteemed character actor David Patrick Kelly)

"Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?"

"That's right, Matrix! You did!"

"I lied." [drops Sully off a cliff]

[walks back over to Rae Dawn Chong]

"What did you do with Sully?"

"I let him go."

- The aforementioned Bennett quip

- "Leave anything for us?"

"Just bodies."

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Shea Serrano's avatar

I can't wait to do Commando at GOOD MOVIE.

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Diana's avatar

I also can’t wait for you to do Commando. Isn’t there a scene where the lady of interest shoots a bazooka but it’s backwards?

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Shea Serrano's avatar

Absolutely.

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El Generico II's avatar

Jesse rocking the MTV shirt in the chopper makes me chuckle. In my head, when his character is not making one liners in a jungle, he’s intently watching for “Video Killed the Radiostar” to jam out to.

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Serge's avatar

Now I’m curious as to what everyone’s walkout song is if they had to be in a boxing match and why is it “X Gonna Give it To Ya”

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Diana's avatar

This is the song I ask the gym check in folks to play as I swagger in to lift heavy things.

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Shea Serrano's avatar

Everybody doing bench presses is pushes them weights up through the ceiling when that song comes on.

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Serge's avatar

I’m like 300% confident I can lift a truck if that song came on at the right moment.

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Diana's avatar

Every. Time! They got extra plaster for the ceiling next to CD player just for that reason.

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Travis Monty-Bromer's avatar

Anyone who says honestly their fight walkout song is not Many Men by 50 Cent is a liar.

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Luis Martins's avatar

I wonder what Billy would say if he was tracking Shea with sliders flipped.

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Shea Serrano's avatar

"This guy seems to have some sort of reversed foot syndrome."

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